what is mental wellness?
What is mental wellness? It’s not someone who is blissfully happy all the time; it’s about being resilient because, in every life, some rain or pain will fall.
There has been plenty of research into what kind of people experience mental wellness most of the time; they are often called ‘actualised’ people because they have reached the pinnacle of Maslov’s hierarchy of needs: Self-actualisation.
That means they take responsibility for themselves and their fulfilment or happiness rather than feel like someone that life happens to - a victim.
Shit happens.
Of course, it does. And it happens to everyone at some point.
How you handle it depends on where you see your centre of control. Some people feel like life happens to them, and they often feel helpless. They might think, “I’m not surprised I failed in that relationship/job/task because that always happens to me.” They mainly believe that life events happen TO them. They have no control over it. It’s fate and how things have always been and always will be.
How do you break free of that mindset?
You stop feeling that life ‘happens’ to you by changing your thoughts.
You have that power, it won’t change overnight, but with help from therapy and a willingness to do your homework in-between sessions, you can reset your attitude toward life.
Once you know, deep down, that you are always in control of your reactions to what happens, life will change. We call it an internal centre of power. People who have mastered this outlook will still experience the ups and downs of life, but their attitude to it is different.
Relationships may fail, but they know they will be OK. They might not get the desired job, but they can overcome that disappointment and not blame themselves. Having this outlook doesn’t turn people into superheroes, but it does help life to run a little smoother.
Nobody’s Perfect
You’ll know your strengths and weaknesses, but accept them. No one is perfect, and every single one of us is a work in progress until we die. Another healthy behaviour that goes with this mindset is gratitude. You fully appreciate what you have and are less likely to feel unworthy because of the things you haven’t got. You’ll know you might wobble, but you will be OK whatever happens.
That goal is not out of reach. To live with such a mindset does take work and a lot of self-care; it is not related to being rich or poor, where or how you live, or even your love life, friends or family. It’s down to you learning that you have power over your reactions and thoughts.
